No Particular Month - The Flag or the Wind?

Hello, I'm not sure I want to be here

Perhaps this blog's no longer monthly, but I certainly have no intention to let it sputter and die. I like having an outlet to express my thoughts and remind myself why I came to Korea in the first place, especially since more and more I'm wondering if all this is just some grand hobby. This is what you love. These are the things you felt important to share, I tell myself. Now if only this love could translate to a clear career path. With graduation coming up I find myself at a crossroads. Do I go back to the US? What will I do there? Is my stay in Korea at an end? Honestly, that thought terrifies me, so do I stay here? And if I stay here, what can I do?

I see my US friends getting married, having kids, buying homes, and feel like an adult-child in contrast. If I had never switched from a music major to anthropology would I be at that stage too? If I had never studied abroad would I have missed Korea so badly that I ended up on a three-year voyage to obtain a MA in a foreign country? But thinking back I was too in love with anthropology to stay in music, and then I was too in love with Korea to let an opportunity to go abroad pass me by. I'm still in love, but the pandemic and the lack of a strong community over the past three years have made my decision a lonely one. Maybe life in the US will be easier. No need to keep taking a language exam, or renew my VISA, or try to articulate health concerns in a foreign language, or be away from a community that cares about me (note the sweet words from my mom in the photo above). But at the same time, I had all these while I was working after graduation, yet no one could say I was happy.

I recently read "Loving" by Jeong Ho-seung, a story about discovering one's place in the world, and one of the many soul-searching passages seemed to speak to my situation:

"I will ask you something. Two monks are watching a flag fluttering in the wind, and they are arguing. One monk says it's the flag that is moving, not the wind, and the other monk claims it's not the flag moving but the wind. Which of them do you think is correct?"

"Well..."

I had no idea how to answer. But when I considered the problem from my own perspective, as a wind chime, the answer seemed relatively obvious.

"It's the flag that's moving. Just as I move when the wind blows, the same principle."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it is."

"No. It is neither the wind that moves, nor the flag. The only thing that is moving is the fractious hearts of those arguing monks."

In the end perhaps my indecisiveness says little about my options, and more about my heart. I was hoping I'd have a clear path set up by now, but should have guessed from the advice of all those who've gone before me that clear paths only become so after we've hacked away the foliage and look back on the road we've created. As I learned on an insomnia-induced call back home, it's best to accept that "this is my life right now," and be joyful in what I have rather than worry about decisions past and future.

Done with self-reflection. Here are a few things I'd like to introduce you to!

What I'm Reading-

The Island of Sea Women

The novelist, Lisa See, has written many works about Chinese or Chinese-American life, but See also wrote this well-researched novel depicting the life of a Korean haenyeo. Haenyeo are the famous female divers from Jeju Island, which sits off the West coast of the Korean peninsula. Without wetsuits or oxygen tanks these women supported their families by collecting and trading what they caught from the sea. The book follows one such haenyeo for 70 years, covering the tail-end of Japanese occupation, the 4:3 Incident which left tens of thousands of Jeju residents dead, the dictator Park Chung-Hee's social movements, and ends in the present day (2008) when the appearance of a tourist family on Jeju's shores forces the protagonist to confront past traumas. It's an excellent book for anyone interested in Korean history, or for anyone with a special interest in Jeju's talented female divers.

A haenyeo at work.

What I'm Watching-

Korea's Hip Hop Music Awards

The Korean Hip-Hop Music Awards held its 5th ceremony at the end of February 2021, and all you need to know is Samual Seo won Best R&B Album.👏 That's not actually all you need to know. The awards themselves were super laid back, probably because they took place in a small studio without an audience or performers. The setup made for a more intimate look at each winning artist.

Music Documentary: Rare Korean Funk, Folk, Soul and '60's Underground LP Bar "Kopchang Jeongol"

One of an 8-part series, this 30 minute documentary from Underground Archive quietly showcases an LP bar in Seoul's most happening music district. In this episode, viewers learn about the venue Kopchang Jeongol "곱창전골," which plays pop songs from Korea's bygone eras. The bar has noticed a radical change in customers since the beginning of the pandemic, and those who once danced and sang freely now require encouragement from the DJ before they let loose. COVID-19 caused restrictions and bans on many live performances, and the artists miss interacting with their audiences. As one musician notes, "I heard they started streaming online concerts and found one. To be honest it was a bit of a bummer. The big draw of concerts is enjoying the experience together. That's the biggest bummer."
Be sure to check out the whole series to learn more about these venues and put them on your list for a later visit!

What I'm Listening to-Christian Hip hop

I'v become interested in believers who practice what I call, "deviant Christianity." This approach to religious content may include tattoos or body piercings, curse words, graffiti, rap, and questionable religious views. (Though depending on the angle all religious views are questionable.) As such, I've grown increasingly interested in the "deviant" genre of hip hop as a zone to wrestle with religious questions and express unorthodox views. Though some hip hop appendages, like cross necklaces, may serve no greater purpose than to "complete the look," real religious searching seems to go on in Korean hip hop and other genres. We can see this in MV aesthetics, lyrical allusions, and even blatant references to God. It seems to me musicians disenchanted with church tradition but unwilling to give up their faith take their religious battles to the artistic realm.

Ok, now I'm sounding too academic, but I find it so interesting that many young Koreans seem disillusioned with the church. Friends of mine choose English services, which have fewer expectations, or personal study instead. My first reaction to these revelations was, "But you can't just skip around from church to church!" or, "But you need a church family!" yet over time I've come to better understand their point of view. Sometimes people feel unable to express themselves in religious institutions, and so turn to other outlets. Rap, a genre that tends to surround morality questions, serves as a channel for individuals to express spiritual deviance without fear of losing community.

Since I'm interested in the relationship between hip hop and religion, I thought I'd mention some songs I've come across in my research (warning, many have curse words 😊):

Swings-Holy

This hard-hitting song (covering 18+ minutes) relates the artist's various spiritual questions, pleas, and criticisms. Swings directs some lyrics toward God, and others at Christians who fail to act in love. For example, Swings asks why a church that is supposed to spread the teachings of Jesus might reject him from their choir due to his career as a rap musician, while the rap community, for its part, accepts Swings just as he is.

Below, some of my favorite lyrics from "Holy," translated from the original Korean and uploaded by u/XXOK:

That hyung (Korean word for "older brother," here referring to Jesus) was the definition of hip hop in my life

Jesus lived like he said and went through the most painful execution for sticking to his beliefs

That's the message that he left

That's his album

That's his work

That's his masterpiece

But knowing all this

When something happens

Why do we all turn into a mob of zombies who don't think?

I'm honestly scared of these events

Jesus said if someone hits one side of your cheek

Let them hit the other side

What a total badass

I hear about all the people who believe in this

And I see all the red crosses at night

But why can't I see them?

Why can't I see all the Jesus Christs?

Bumkey & WELOVE ft. pH-1-Holyhood

A song by two celebrated rappers praising God's forgiveness and mercy. The lyrics read like a worship song, but instead of a pop or rock melody, the artists provide a solid beat.

pH-1-Christ

pH-1 is a Korean-American musician and member of the successful label, H1GHR MUSIC. He's open about his Christian faith, and according to this song hopes to use it for God's glory, "based on faith in You and not emotion."

BewhY feat. Son Simba

BewhY won the fifth season of Korea's popular rap competition, Show Me The Money, and has been a well-known artist ever since. Unlike pH-1, who writes more playful or joyful lyrics, BewhY's songs contain darker themes and abrasive lyrics.

There are plenty more songs I'd love to cover, especially from the side of artists who don't identify as Christian yet include Christian allusions in their songs or music videos. Hopefully, I'll be able to write more about it in the future!

What I'm Writing

There is one thing I cannot grasp

Two I cannot understand

The way to lead a life lived in love

And the way of a Christian convinced of this love

(based on the framework of Proverbs. I felt this writing fit the general mood)

Rambling About a Cafe

A friend introduced me to Kettchuup about a year ago. "Why's it named Kettchuup?" I'd asked, but I don't think he knew the answer. Inside this small neighborhood cafe, two tables stand opposite the wooden counter, while a couch holding a sleepy shiba fits snugly between the wall and door. I took a picture of the shiba while waiting for our drinks.

My friend and the barista seemed to know each other and made easy conversation I couldn't follow. This made me jealous both because it proved my Korean skills were still at less than an elementary school level, and because like a child I wanted to be included. When I came alone months later, the same barista gave me a choice between two coffee blends: 1) I don't remember, and 2) something chocolately. I went with choice number two and sat at a table feeling awkward, as I was the only customer. Eventually, the barista asked how the coffee tasted ("really good,") and wrote down the title of the currently playing song for me after I asked. A couple soon came in who knew the owner, and the three sat together at the one remaining table. I focused on my first attempt at translation, but unfortunately the poem I was working on got a little descriptive and I worried one of the three might look over and think I'm some kinky foreigner, so I curled the pages inward. After a while the barista gave the couple strawberries with cream to offset their bitter americanos, then handed me a plate too. I always get a bit teary-eyed when cafes give me free food. Once I got cherry tomatoes, another time a madeleine cookie, and another time a cup of warm water. My friends tell me that last one was probably a joke.

I've been to Kettchuup a few more times. I learned the shiba's name is Do-soon, and she'll give me a high five if I feed her dried sweet potatoes.

A chocolatey coffee and the shiba, Do-soon

Photos

Drinks and sweets, February-April

My friend and I stumbled upon an exhibition detailing the events of COVID-19 so far, from its spread to the present day, change in restrictions over time, photos of mask wearers, and social issues.

Gyeongbokgung palace is always lovely.

The grumpy grandma, the cat-finated kitten, and the long-term-stay stray, snuggled up in the US.

Notable Noms: homemade dumplings with a friend. This one seemed especially happy to be given shape!

The current exhibition at Sinchon Arts Space reminds viewers "covid-19 will come to an end"

The view from Ordinary Pit, a cafe in Yeonhui-dong

😁

Forsythia on a rainy day

A Cherry Blossom day

a Cherry Blossom Ending day

Art by Soon Easy, on exhibition at Cafe Idaho. Soon Easy makes cardboard pieces that show a glaring, cynical depiction of daily life. The artist twists popular brand slogans like, "Just do it," from Nike into pieces that tell viewers, "Just don't do it," and reworks well-known phrases like the beloved chocolate quote from Forest Gump into, "Life is like a box of chocolate. Someone already took the chocolate."