Itaewon-"You have set my feet in a broad place."

Titles from articles that emerged after the October 29th crowd crush disaster. (links at bottom of page)

Sometime during the pandemic, I found myself wishing to enter a "broad place," like the broad places mentioned in the Bible: "You have set my feet in a broad place; You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way; He induced you away from the mouth of distress, And instead of it, a broad place with no constraint."

I took a photo of the park on top of a hill, cut out the buildings below, and wrote, "If you angle the camera just right you can almost believe it's not the middle of the city."

I told a friend I wanted to visit a broad place once, and he took me to a cafe in Bukhansan. Windows covered the walls from top to bottom to show the green mountain outside. I could easily appreciate the trees, and when we walked the path outside the air smelled like rain. 

YONHAP/Reuters

When I left my school's dorm, I first lived in a goshiwon. I could touch two opposite walls at the same time and my clothes dangled above my feet. I took my plant to the roof every morning because I didn't have a window and took it back down every night.

When COVID persisted, I began to wear a mask to the communal bathroom and kitchen, and I always wore headphones because I didn't want to bother my neighbors through the thin walls. I heard a girl crying in a nearby room late one night and didn't know if it was something a stranger could help with or if I needed to leave her alone. About 20 minutes later emergency responders banged on the goshiwon's door and rushed into her room. "You've gone through a lot, haven't you?" they said, before carrying her out on a stretcher.

Jung Yeon-Je/AFP/Getty Images

My second room was larger than the goshiwon, about the size of a walk-in closet. I saw the fullness of the city outside my window – an impressive view. Trains passed by throughout the day, and I heard ambulances come and go from the hospital. In my first month there, I went to the roof to watch a production crew film outside, and when I finished buying groceries, I stumbled upon an idol fan meet. "Excuse me? Can you speak Korean? We're filming a commercial! We're conducting a survey! We're holding an event! Please give me your number and join!"

Again, I step inside the crowded subway. Hundreds pack inside to get home from work but no one speaks because we don't want to bother anyone. But the automated woman speaks. The automated woman speaks to tell us to watch our feet as we exit. The automated woman speaks to tell us what station we've entered. The automated woman speaks and sound is invented.

(Yonhap)

I remember that when I'm in traffic, I AM the traffic, and when I'm in a crowd, I AM the crowd. I'm part of it, but it's not my fault. It's not their fault either. We didn't mean to make a crowd.

Shoes wait at a makeshift lost and found center after the Itaewon disaster. Lee Jin-man/AP

On October 29, 2022, thousands of people crowded into a small alley outside Hamilton Hotel, and 158 of them lost their lives. Individuals piled in from both sides until those in the middle couldn't move, couldn't breathe.

Whether I could have been there that night doesn't really matter. I already am the 20-something student looking to leave my small studio apartment for the night, who told her parents not to worry, who added my weight to the crowd because I was already used to living in the world's 6th most congested city, and who now needs funds to send my body back home. I am the friend who suggested visiting Itaewon to experience the heart of Korea's Halloween celebrations and now blames myself for being unable to save them. I am now the subject of every news story, pinned as the result of poorly laid plans, a political tool to put another party in power, the alleged result of sin and immorality, and an obstacle to the area's tourism opportunities.

Please Lord, set their feet in a broad place.

Seoul crowd crush: PM and police admit failures as anger grows | Seoul crowd crush | The Guardian

A visual guide to how the Seoul Halloween crowd crush unfolded | Seoul crowd crush | The Guardian 

[VIDEO] S.Korea mourns loss of young souls in Itaewon crowd crush (koreatimes.co.kr)

[Video] Itaewon streets after the deadly crowd crush (koreaherald.com)

(2nd LD) Police to request probe into Yongsan police chief, Seoul police situation monitoring officer | Yonhap News Agency (yna.co.kr)

Seoulites are used to overcrowding — that’s what makes it dangerous : National : News : The Hankyoreh (hani.co.kr)

Where to go for mental health services if you can't speak Korean (koreatimes.co.kr)